It was a foggy, chilly kind of day today. Yesterday, it was a chilly, dreary day. Hard to get used to those kinds of days when they happen so suddenly.
I remember being a teen ager and being depressed. I was bullied and lonely. I felt so isolated, as if nothing I did was ever "enough". I was never "enough". I planned my death. Sixteen, I thought, was a good time. My sixteenth birthday. But, I didn't do it. I stopped. I thought, "Well, there's always next year" and, now, I am 52 and I'm still here, still kicking. I didn't do it. I didn't.
Yesterday, Bird came home from school crying. A boy in her school, a child, killed himself. He took a belt and hung himself. Why? Why did he do this? He'd just been suspended but that isn't reason to kill yourself.
You know what? I'm mad. I'm pissed at this kid. How dare he? He was well liked, he was loved, he had friends. How dare he kill himself? I didn't. Goodness knows, I had reason. But I didn't. I wasn't that selfish and uncaring. I wasn't that egotistical and self-centered. And, now, I see the beginnings of the kids making him into some mythic, tragic figure. No. He was selfish and cruel.
Bird has a lot of anxiety about death. She is obsessing over this. How to memorialize this boy.
I did like one idea Bird had, though. She thought someone should start a Snuggle Puggle Foundation. When someone is sad or depressed, they could go somewhere to snuggle with a puggle. Because how could you be sad with one of these to snuggle with?
I remember being a teen ager and being depressed. I was bullied and lonely. I felt so isolated, as if nothing I did was ever "enough". I was never "enough". I planned my death. Sixteen, I thought, was a good time. My sixteenth birthday. But, I didn't do it. I stopped. I thought, "Well, there's always next year" and, now, I am 52 and I'm still here, still kicking. I didn't do it. I didn't.
Yesterday, Bird came home from school crying. A boy in her school, a child, killed himself. He took a belt and hung himself. Why? Why did he do this? He'd just been suspended but that isn't reason to kill yourself.
You know what? I'm mad. I'm pissed at this kid. How dare he? He was well liked, he was loved, he had friends. How dare he kill himself? I didn't. Goodness knows, I had reason. But I didn't. I wasn't that selfish and uncaring. I wasn't that egotistical and self-centered. And, now, I see the beginnings of the kids making him into some mythic, tragic figure. No. He was selfish and cruel.
Bird has a lot of anxiety about death. She is obsessing over this. How to memorialize this boy.
I did like one idea Bird had, though. She thought someone should start a Snuggle Puggle Foundation. When someone is sad or depressed, they could go somewhere to snuggle with a puggle. Because how could you be sad with one of these to snuggle with?
Works for me...
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1 comment:
Aw, what a sweet idea from Bird. She is so right and so compassionate. Thank goodness you didn't succumb to that horrible idea and continued to fight your way through another day.
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