Waiting...

Waiting for Friday for school to start. I'm nervous as a long tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.

Got the new-to-me washer yesterday and got the laundry room cleaned up and the new washer hooked up. Great to be doing my own laundry! Of course, there is always a glitch. The cold water faucet is leaking and I will have to replace it. That is going to be tomorrow night's activity. I hope. the shut off valve isn't working well, either. Grrrrr That means I have to shut off all the water to the house to get this done. Grrrrr

So, this week I have a meeting with Bird's teachers, ADHD doctor appt., work and school starting. It is a full week.

Hit a couple of garage sales hoping to find some shelves. Too many tsotskes and not enough display space. I will stick my fingers in my ears and sing "It's a Small World" very loudly if you start telling me I have too many tsotskes and I need to thin them out.

Not a single suitable set of bookshelves or anything that would work. However, I get brownie points for not buying that roll top desk I saw. Always wanted one. I passed it up, though. I was a good girl.

However, I did find a moon chair for Bird and she's been wanting one. And a new dressy dress. And a shirt. And a housecoat. Bird made out like a bandit. Also found a laptop over the lap thing for working in bed. Has legs. A light. Neat little thing. And I found a new coffee cup. Yeah, I know. I need a new coffee cup like a hole in the head but this is an identical one to one I had years ago that was stolen. It was my work cup and someone stole it. It says, "Stress: The almost uncontrollable urge to beat the crap out of someone who desperately deserves it".

So, no shelves.

I got the cats a new covered litter box, too. One of the cats is having an issue getting downstairs to use the box and I thought a covered one might help keep the Big Dog out of it. He likes the tootsie rolls he finds in there. Cats hate it. Just my luck. Will not use it. My cats are irritating.

C'mon Friday! I want to get this started.

New Beginnings

I think I am a glutton for punishment. Really. As if I don't feel overwhelmed enough, I am now going to start school. Add on 20 hours of studying or so a week. It'll almost all be online, though, so that should be interesting. I'm going to Western Governors University. Just when all the fall shows are getting ready to start. I am a glutton for punishment.

Oh, well...I have two weeks of relative quiet before the new insanity is added on. October 1st is D Day. I'm actually excited and want to get a move on with it. Next weekend, my desk gets sorted so I can be all ready for the 1st.

Bird has been having some homework completion issues. She doesn't think her ADHD meds are working well. First clue? She is always hungry. Well, that and the whole not getting homework done thing.

We'll be doing homework together in the evenings! Maybe that will help with the completion issues. It will add pressure to me, at least...

Wasting Time

I had two extra days off this week (love these four day weekends) and last night I felt very virtuous that I put down in my Outlook Task list a lot of the things I really needed to get done today. I even put in alerts to remind me to actually look at the task list. Started the time at 8 AM. So, got up on time, got Bird to school about on time (we're having trouble with that). When I walked the dogs, I multi-tasked. While they were doing their duty, I did squats. I hope no neighbors were watching. I'm sure it looked a little odd. Then, while waiting for Bird to finish getting ready, I did more squats. I did 30 squats this morning, nonexistent readers. Thirty! Anyway, when I got home from taking Bird to school, I booted up the computer and the alerts started popping up. I looked at them, honest. I really did. Then, I decided it was a really good morning for a nap so I turned off the computer and did just that.

Don't judge me. It was wonderful.

Another part of the morning, I spent looking through a new webcomic I followed a link to from one of my regular web comics. I only really follow a couple of web comics. I keep forgetting to check them. But one I follow religiously because it is written by a long time online friend of mine - Life's a Witch. It makes me smile and I'm very proud of Witchy.

Well, I've added in Lackadaisy Cats. I love the art in that one. The storyline is good, too.

Well, I followed a little posting from Witchy and have now added a new webcomic to my reading list. Don't Feed the Geek. I sat here and read them all. I like to pretend I'm a geek.

Well, anyway, I decided I couldn't put things off any longer so I actually did all my tasks. Made the next endo appt, did some overtime, finished up some paperwork for the online university I want to attend.

Thought about calling my mother but the last phone call didn't go well at all. It was so sad. And was too stressful for her. She knows something is wrong with her memory and she is raging about it. I don't blame her. She is certainly not going gently into that good night.

I should be doing more overtime. However, I decided to while away the time here instead. If someone stops by to read this, leave me a note so I don't feel quite so lonely :)

Darkness descends

Labor Day was difficult. Went to see my mother in her new digs and she was not a happy camper...all day long. It was long and draining and difficult, capped off by her blatantly refusing my goodbye hug.

Then, at my brother's a little later, my sister in law asked me when Bird was getting her learner's permit. I was more than a little shocked and hurt. Months ago, I had sent a long, detailed email about what our life is like and how it differs from their lives with their 15 year old. I had discussed the difficulty with the decision and that, at this point, it was an "if", not a "when". It is still an "if".

I couldn't shake it all day today. It preyed on my mind, weighed on me like a palpable presence. I was nearly in tears all day. At random times, the thought would pop into my head, "Doesn't anyone else care enough to find out what our lives are like now?" Then the old resentments would start creeping in. All those months I was asking for help. All those times I was telling them that things were deteriorating. No one heard.

Being invisible and unheard is hard.

It didn't help when the case manager from the insurance company called with some ideas to help with the copays for Bird's treatment. One of the places suggested helps with copays for growth hormone injections...if the patient has growth hormone deficiency. The case manager doesn't know or understand Turner Syndrome. I thanked her politely for her efforts and hung up.

All I wanted was to get home, to be in my cocoon, make it through the evening and, hopefully, find a chance to let the tears out when Bird couldn't see or hear me.

Hop in the car, put the key in the ignition. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...click, click, click. Rrrrrrr...rr...r. Dead battery.

Thankfully, my handsome and talented nephew was able to come and jumpstart my car and follow me to the car parts place to get a new battery. My twenty minute trip home turned into two hours. At least I got home.

My nephew is marvelous. He works in movies. If you need a set dresser, drop me a line. He's good. He worked on Up in the Air and other movies. He also makes movies. Has made them for years. I told him I need to remember to buy a lottery ticket, well, a winning lottery ticket. Then I'd fund him making a documentary about Turner Syndrome.

Oh, well...here it is 1:30. Woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I'm peckish and don't know what I'm peckish for. Think my son cooking himself a hamburger woke me up. it smells good.

I want hot wings. They would make my day much sunnier.

One foot in front of the other

So, I was browsing around online the other night and visited some other blogs I read occaisionally. I wasn't wasting time. I was just overwhelmed and really wishing that, once in a while, I could be underwhelmed. Instead of doing all the things I should have been doing, I was just browsing and reading blogs. I sometimes read Moderate Means, Thift Store Mama, and Laundry for Six, among others.

As if I wasn't feeling overwhelmed enough, Moderate Means and Thrift Store Mama both have diet blogs. Hmmm, guilt set in. I haven't been doing my exercising. The eating is going okay it is the exercise I have really slacked off on this month. I can tell, too. I'm crankier.

A new leaf today. I was going to exercise. Laundress Sue had mentioned the Couch to 5K program before and I tried it once but it so did not go well. I was going to do that. And, yes, there is an app for that. Thank goodness. No way I could concentrate on not tripping and time the walk and run portions. I made a deal with myself. If I did this, went out and did the exercise, I could have hot wings. They are my downfall. I haven't had any real ones with breading and everything in a while. I crave them constantly. I do the exercise, I get hot wings. I'm pitiful. I have to bribe myself.

Anyway, I got in my exercise gear and, when Bird was picked up to go to a carnival with her mentor, I went to the track. I had my sweat band, wrist band, towel, water bottle, iTouch complete with C2K app and music progammed in. I stretched and warmed up. Fired 'er up and got to walking. First running segment my hand went numb. This is not normal. Took off the wrist band. Feeling came back. Great, I'm too fat to wear the wrist band. Made it most of the way through that segment, though. Walking segment went okay. Next running segment, my right baby toe started going numb and tingly. Grrrrr. I decided to walk through the next running segment.

As time went on, my right foot felt worse. All the toes were going numbish and the bottom of my foot. Meanwhile, my left ankle started hurting. That was probably because I was favoring my other foot a bit. I decided not to do the running anymore. I just walked faster during the running segments. I made it all the way through, though. So, it will take me longer than 9 weeks. I can live with that. I'll get there.

I think what happened with my foot is that I wore those shoes all day at work and my feet were tired of them. They are the Skecher Shape Ups and are heavier, to me, than other shoes. I think I also need to stretch and warm up more. And maybe it was too much to get into all at once. First week, I'll do it walking, slower and faster. Next week, start doing some running. Build up a little slower. Adjust and move on. As long as I'm putting one step in front of the other, I'm not sitting and vegetating.

Yes, I let myself have hot wings. I paired them with a nice salad with fat free dressing.