I've seen blue skies through the tears in my eyes...

It's been a difficult few months. Classes have been somewhat intense. Normally, wouldn't have been that big a deal...a lot of work but do-able. But work has been busy, too. An emotional and mental roller coaster. But, it was all good. I was busy, so very busy, but it was a good busy, y'know? A good busy. I was useful. I was productive. I contained the meltdowns.

There were glitches, of course. When I am focused and working, I don't need someone coming to me and telling me what I should be doing - asking for raises, asking for a promotion, because I have them by the balls. Right now, in this economy? I'm glad I have a job. I'm glad I can have a job where I am useful and learning new things. I am glad I have a job that is interesting and not boring. I find it terribly inappropriate for people to be telling me things like that.

Anyway, Bird is doing better. She is maturing and doing so much better. The OCD is not as bad and she is keeping up with her homework. Of course, it isn't that far into the year but...

The oldest daughter called me a couple of weeks ago. Pregnant. Geez. I was irritated and frustrated. She is so not in a position to care for a baby. On the bright side, her father, with whom she has had a rocky relationship to say the least, reacted wonderfully. He was excited and supportive. I was proud of him. It was good.

This weekend, my girl came in to visit for a little bit. While here, she miscarried the baby. She wasn't very far along but, still, I find myself more upset than I thought I would be.

I had come to terms with the thought of being a grandmother, never mind the circumstances. We had piced out the baby bed I was going to buy them. Now, I feel a pain in my heart when I see an ad for baby things.

The time will come, I know. But, still, I mourn the loss of this one. And my heart breaks for my baby having to go through this.