Stilletos, mules, and pumps raining down...

So, things went on. The xray showed a bone age of 10 so we could do the growth hormone injections. There was no problem getting it approved by insurance and we talked to the nurse that was going to come teach us how to do it. Of course, nothing can go off without a hitch, donchaknow. The copay for the growth hormone was $30. When the insurance authorized mail order pharmacy called to set up delivery, they told me the monthly copay was $75. What????? Turns out, there's a little clause in their contract that means they can charge a higher copay for speciality medications. Hmmm, no thank you. Rigamarole to get it changed to another pharmacy and get the lower copay.

Get the shots started. No shots in the abdomen, though. Per Bird, she has a problem with sharp implements near her stomach. Smart kid.

Over the next few months, we dealt with a broken injection pen on a class trip out of state, her dad refusing to take the medication with him when he took her on a weekend visit, my vacation to San Francisco (where it rained the whole time! but Bird got a new red dress) and someone else besides me giving her the shot, homework issues, ADHD medication issues resulting in her going to a psychiatrist for medication management, an all clear from the cardiologist and good results on the blood tests (for growth markers and thyroid levels).

Oh, and then there was the squamous cell skin cancer removed from my arm and multiple visits back to the dermatologist for me. Endo visits every four months. Several visits to the psychiatrist, the geneticist visit who explained it all to Bird in a way she could understand, joining the Turner Syndrome Society, reading and learning as much as possible about the condition, giving shots every night, making sure she takes her Concerta every morning, fighting and struggling with homework completion issues, $500 for new glasses, fighting and struggling to get her tested for learning disabilities. Through it all, I kept the door to that closet that housed my anxiety and fear locked up tight.

And there were silver linings and sunny streets...like the basket of gifts and gift cards some friends gave to Bird and I because we were having a time of it.

Always learning, learning, learning, researching and googling and binging. Girls with Turner Syndrome have a high rate of early ovarian failure, they more often than not have issues with conceiving a child, problems with osteoporosis, diabetes. The learning differences can make things difficult for them. Delayed puberty. I heard of girls who had breast implants because they were grown and had no breasts. Egg harvesting so they could do in vitro when they were older and wanted to have children. Discussions of who you tell and when. What about when they start dating? Girls who have to have their ovaries removed when they are twelve and thirteen because of the presence of some Y chromosome material.

And then the things that had really nothing to do with TS at all...an $80 a month increase in insurance premiums (with a silver lining that I had insurance because if I didn't, Bird wouldn't have the growth hormones that increased her height because they cost over $2,000 a month and the Concerta would cost nearly $300). My mother's increasing dependence on me. The feeling of never being alone, never without something to do.

I worked and ran errands and smiled and joked.